I Still Loved You
by B00ksaholic
Summary: Weird one-shot about what I think should have happened if Rose didn't let those Guards drag her away after she finally see's Dimitri after turning him back.  Please read & review - I promise it's interesting :
1. I Still Loved You

Ok, so. I wanted to do a one-shot one what should have happened in the cells after Dimitri is turned back to Dhampir and Rose goes to see him - am I the only one who felt it heart-wrenching when Dimitri had those Guardians carry her away; and she just let them?

Well here's how it should have happened :)

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_"... I can't love anyone now. I can't-_I don't-_love you. There's nothing more between you and me." _

_My Blood turned cold. I refused to believe his words, not after the way he just looked at me earlier. "No! That's not true! I love you and you-"_

_"Guards!" Dimitri shouted, his voice so loud that it was a wonder the whole building didn't shake. "Get her out of here. _Get her out of here!"

_With amazing guardian reflexes, the guards were down at the cell in a flash. As a prisoner, Dimitri wasn't in a position to make requests, but the authorities here certainly weren't going to encourage a situation that would create a commotion. They began herding Mikhail and me out, but I resisted. _

_"No, wait-"_

_"Don't fight it," murmured Mikhail in my ears... _**[Pg. 360~Spirit Bound]**

"NO, THE HELL I WILL!" I screamed aloud in fury, I was angry, I was frustrated. The thought of this entire situation - this entire life - was maddening! How dare he say he doesn't love me, how dare he say that Lissa saved him; and that I didn't! I did! I saved him, because of me, he is alive, dammit. This led me to backhanding one guard straight in the nose. Not only did I hear the crack and snap: I also felt the guards' nose breaking from the momentum and harshness of my strike. By the time the other guard realized my immense protest I had already punctured him in the gut with my elbow. They both roared in pain, but not long enough that they were both on me. The first Guard with the bloody nose tried to snatch my legs and pull me down - but I am much faster, more swift. The other guard seemed to follow the strategy as the other but tried to grab my arms while he hunched in the pain of his bruising - and probably internal bleeding of his stomach. Unfortunately for them, they failed miserably as I swooped around and away from where they grasped and round-house kick them each in the head, each kick a second apart. During the whole fight, I wondered what Mikhail was doing. Was he letting the guards handle me, or had he gone away to get more help?

But I focus on my pain, my agony, my heart-ache caused by Dimitri, my one love. The guards are down, barely breathing on the cement ground and Mikhail is no where to be found. Omitting the fact that I can't see anything or anyone. Everything I see is centered at Dimitri. Who sits... and just watches. He watches me, with his stoic face that always made me proud of how professional he was and amazing a Guardian he was. But now, it annoyed the shit out of me. I wanted to rip the seriousness from him and the silence he kept that was literally so unbearable.

I couldn't wait for him to do anything but stare. And I couldn't do anything but grip the bars that captivated him - and cry. I, Rosemarie Hathaway, Guardian daughter of Guardian Janine Hathaway and Abe Mazur, cried. I let the burning watery tears fill my eyes, and I let them sting their way down my moist cheeks. With my hands frozen and marbleized to the steel bars I didn't wipe my tears away. The tears that reached my lips were the ones that tasted sweet and unfamiliar. And I did not blink until my eyes were full, and the blinking motion would pour more tears down over my crumpled burning face.

And Dimitri only stared. Until finally, after what seemed like forever, I started to actually sob. Crying out, and bawling with hysterics filling my chest and the sounds being heaved out from my mouth. I counted the hysterics till I cried out to him.

"Do you _see what I do._.. do you s-see everything I do F-FOR YOU," little trembles break my words, my finger shiver against the steel, my teeth chatter. "You have _no idea_ what I've done to see y-you alive again. No. Idea. _Dimitri Belikov_." I yearned so much to say something strong and hurtful, but my words varied with little harshness that still hurt to suffice.

"So, so, so much I've done for you're sorry ass. And you d-don't- you do-on't love m-m-me? You don't l-love me? _Why? Why, Dimitri? _After all that I've done..." Anger heats up once more in my core, filling my cold flesh with a fiery fuse. "How dare you." I still cry... but not enough to destroy the strength of my words. "AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE!" I couldn't stress that enough, "I WAS YOUR BLOOD WHORE AND I _STILL_ LOVED YOU! EVEN AFTER THE DAMAGE THAT YOU DID TO ME, AFTER EVERYTHING IN SIBERIA I LIED IN MY BED AND SAID _i love you _TO THIN AIR, BUT IT WAS FOR YOU! You think your life's in shit? Get over it and _step-the-fuck-up_!"

This man who once understood me so well; would never understand or even come close to comprehending the absolute agony he etched into my life. No one, in Earth, in Hell or in Heaven would ever understand. Nor would they ever want to.


	2. I Still Loved You Dimitri's POV

Thank you for reading my story :) I decided to create a Dimitri's Point of View chapter equivelant to the first one. Mind you; there is yes- the chapters are short but I was focusing on making it strong - not on how long it was.

I do not own anything having to do with the wondrous Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead

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**Dimitri's Point Of View**

_"... I can't love anyone now. I can't-_I don't-_love you. There's nothing more between you and me." _My entire being goes numb. I breathe - but not really, not like I'm getting anything from air. _  
_

Rose's head shakes and her skin pales. Oh Roza..._ "No! That's not true! I love you and you-"_

_"Guards!" _I shout as loud as I possibly can, trying to get Rose away, before I break fright before her eyes. I can't worry her anymore, the best thing for Rose is to forget of me, and to not see the distress in me. I can't let her know._ "Get her out of here. _Get her out of here!"

_With amazing guardian reflexes, the guards were down at the cell in a flash. As a prisoner, _I'm not_ in a position to make requests, but the authorities here certainly weren't going to encourage a situation that would create a commotion. They began herding Mikhail and _Rose _ out, but _she_ resisted. _

_"No, wait-"_

_"Don't fight it," murmured Mikhail in_ her _ears... _**[Pg. 360~Spirit Bound]**

I hear a shriek but hear nothing else at all. I'm totally suffocated with the numbness. Numbed by her beauty. Through the bitter eyes of a vile Strigoi - she was this prize that I needed to have-to own. I had lustfully stolen her blood from by _intoxicating _her with my fowl deeds. She had meant nothing but a prize, and i didn't love her, only wanted her. Turning back into Dhampir - I felt the same, until seeing her. No lust, just love. All the reason for living walked to my prison cell; and stole my love after saving my soul. Those golden eyes so easily mesmerising, just by looking at me and deeming so innocent. How was she able to _stand_ being in the same room as I? Is she that amazing? That forgiving? And as I look at her: is she really that beautiful? Roza - _my _Roza - baffles me in way that has consumed any logic there is in this world. Especially gazing at her, in her wondrous movements. Torpedoing the back of her small powerful hand into the center of the tallest - and clearly strongest** - **nose. It looked quite painful as blood spurted, but Dhampir's have a high level of taking pain well. Though, as soon as his blood hit the floor, that Guardian Mikhail that Roza seemed so acquainted with; ran off. For what?

In know time the first guard swoops for her legs while the second Guard goes for her arms. It was so amazing as I watched my Roze defend herself so... just so _strikingly _and so damned familiar.

Of course familiar. I taught her everything she knows! She has a very important part of me within her, how dare I forget that. Roza gracefully escapes their reaching arms in one second and with the next she is behind them with direct hits to the head with her. With a single strike; they fall to there knees and crash face down. Did she really just risk everything to have a few more moments with me? Probably to spit in my face but that's what I deserve. I can't love her, she should know, no matter what it's to protect her and to keep me from harming her anymore. She has Adrian. Though I don't like him; he's a better man then I could ever be, and I hear he treats her like gold. And that's what she deserves.

My face was hard of stone, I couldn't help that but I was to focused on Rose... Roza looked as if she were dying. Or a standing corpse being drained of her blood. Her skin was ash white. Her eyes were rimmed red and bloodshot. While her hands stretched forward to grip the bars that captivated me as if she would fall without have the bars to hold onto. I thought she could break the bars using only her hands.

Right here, I think I lost any sanity I had left, because I think-I think my beloved Roza_ cried. _It started with a single tear that feel from the center of her eye and rolled down to the corner of her lips, but then there was another and another. Bold tears streamed down her puffy cheeks. Down and down came the tears. Jesus, I can't take looking at my love like this! Have I truly lost my mind to let this marvelous Goddess just stand there so lonely - so exposed. I could kill myself right then there when the sobs began to form past her lips. She reminded me of a small child suffering by herself because no one will comfort her.

My heart shoots up into my throat when she opens her mouth to speaks - but I don't she knows all of what she's saying, she's looks to numb to undertsand... "Do you _see what I do._.. do you s-see everything I do F-FOR YOU," damn her trembling voice, "You have _no idea_ what I've done to see y-you alive again. No. Idea. _Dimitri Belikov_! Fucking lies. You. Lied. To me! So, so, so much I've done for you're sorry ass. And you d-don't- you do-on't love m-m-me? You don't l-love me? _Why? Why, Dimitri? _After all that I've done..." Her voice cracks and trails off while she stares into me like I'm not here. Just when it looks like she's about to tear up again - her face turns crimson, and her fingers coil around the bars. "AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE! I WAS YOUR BLOOD WHORE AND I _STILL_ LOVED YOU! EVEN AFTER THE DAMAGE THAT YOU DID TO ME, AFTER EVERYTHING IN SIBERIA I LIED IN MY BED AND SAID _i love you _TO THIN AIR, BUT IT WAS FOR YOU! You think your life's in shit? Get over it and _step-the-fuck-up_!"

There is no air left to breathe in my cell. My flesh feels frozen in locks and my blood has dissolved. I don't deserve to live - but I deserve to see how much I've done. I shall let the kill me rightfully to oblivion. The transformation to Strigoi had felt so eerie to changing back and to this moment. A luminous feeling of being detached - other then when I turned back I miraculously felt as if I were coming together after feel my soul ripped into tiny pieces an washed away from my hands. Also when changing back I had felt so warm - now I feel so cold. So dead. I deserve this. Roza doesn't deserve this.

"I love you" I speak softly, it rings off the walls and stings my throat. I say it again; "_I love you."_ Omit, she's already gone. The Guardians have dragged her away without a single noise or protest. She's gone; but it doesn't matter because so am I.


End file.
